There are three phases to celebrating Halloween. The first is when you’re a kid and you are hyped about your costume and acquiring as much candy as possible to ration out over the course of the next year.
The second phase is when you’re either apathetic to the event entirely and leave a bowl out on your porch so kids don’t kick in your gutters, or you’re a party guy who dresses up as niche characters (The Big Lewbowski?) or a party girl who dresses up as a sexy version of anything (Sexy Margaret Thatcher?).
The third phase of Halloween celebration is when you have a little kid yourself who is experiencing phase I. This was Benjamin’s first Halloween and truthfully he was too young to really understand or get any of what was going on. He did (we did) dress (him) up and he was easily the cutest cowboy at the Kryzak’s Halloweiner cookout.
Dressing up babies is funny. They look cute as a button dressed up a chicken, ladybug or a dragon, but they look beat down. Kinda like squeezing your dog into an x-mas sweater. They don’t quite like, but they don’t hate it enough to pitch a fit – so they just sit there propped as you paparazzi them the entire night.
Our plan was to stay at this party and head home when everyone else went trick or treating so we could pass out candy at our house. This of course didn’t happen. So we get back to our neighborhood to find a candy swept ghost town, and there is 10lbs of candy sitting in our pantry AND now our house is where crabby Old Man Alexander lives.
We did attend a Halloween party the following night at a friend’s house and brought Cowboy Benjamin along to help amortize his $60 costume (don’t get me started). I know what you’re thinking – being at a party with a baby is probably both fun and easy. Negative. Imagine the last party you went to. Now, imagine you were cradling a 25lb dumbbell against your chest the entire time. Now imagine this weight is squirming around you trying to touch everything. Now also imagine holding a drink in your other hand, oh, and you are dressed up like a Mexican wrestler.
So Halloween will forever be changed. But I really look forward to the next couple of years taking Benjamin trick or treating, I just hope he doesn’t mind being escorted by a Luchador.
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