Once you get over your, "(gasp) How can he say that about those precious little angels?" you'll agree with me. Think of all the animals within our mammalian phylum, they can at least support their own head's weight once they shoot out of the womb. A baby deer practically sprints out of his momma. Sure that could be to escape the 12-gauge pointed in their general direction, but it is impressive nonetheless.
I've monitored Benjamin's growth over the past two weeks and other than a few extra ounces and a few random gas related giggles, I see no progress. He's only 2 weeks old, but I feel like we're already a month behind. He's not even speaking Spanish yet, summer school looks to be inevitable.
I of course love seeing his slow progress and he is very cute, but that's about all human babies have going for them. God designed them to be incredibly cute so people would stick around and give it stuff. I read a new theory by "experts" that the original gestation period for human babies was actually 10.5 months - which would better prepare them to function with an extra month in the ol' oven.
Apparently carrying a baby for over 10 months was causing a slight case of death in mother's as they tried to push the gi-normous baby from their...area. So these early humans evolved to a shorter gestational period so the baby's head would be easier to fit through. This, however, rendered the baby to be completely useless for that first month in the world. I see some validity, but it is just a theory until I add my soon to be gathered empirical data.
One up-shot of a newborn baby's uselessness is that it makes them incredibly easy to use for impromptu puppet shows. I'm hoping the muscle memory will kick in, because he's been playing a mean air guitar and air drums. He can also put his hands in the air, and wave them like he just don't care. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure that Benjamin is still pooping at 1st grade level.
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