This entire time we have had Benjamin, some part of me in the back of my head is still looking at this as an extended babysitting session for some friends of ours. Like any minute they will show back up and take their bundle of joy back to their house and we can resume life a la Alexander-style - sleeping in, playing some Xbox, chasing Schmax around.
Not so. That small piece of my brain is slowly coming to the realization that that mythical couple is never showing up and we are the primary caregivers for this baby. I am pretty sure that this is one sided, Emily has taken to parenting like a fish to water.
Beyond the babysitting allusion, my brain has also reverted to what I know best - video games. There are a lot of times in my travels from here to there that to pass the time, I play out the task at hand like it were a video game - the better I complete the task, the more "points" I earn, like a Sims® game (no, I don't keep a tally of points in my coat pocket, but let's say I have 17,835). So I have noticed that I've been doing this with the baby, parenting as if I were in a parenting simulation.
I don't think I'm "winning" at this game yet, I'm learning the layout of the controller so to speak. But I also don't want to deprive myself of the warm and fuzzy moments of parenting because I'm so busy trying to optimize how well I can change a diaper and clean up afterward (47.3 sec). Even typing this passage makes me consider - am I really a cyborg? 101010010010101
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2 comments:
I love what you are doing! Recording the daily happenings and how they impact on the growth of your family is a gift from the heart. The sharing of your soul's deepest feelings and your responses to fatherhood is something very profound and special. Especially when you look back weeks, months, years from now and see the person you have become because this unique child of God, Benjamin, entered your lives. And imagine how the bond of unconditional love between you and Benjamin will be further forged in the reflections of your journey together. What a wonderful legacy you are giving Benjamin, because one day he will be able to read this love story.
Mom
Hi Dale, Emily & Benjamin!! I can't believe he is finally here!! I can't wait to meet him for the first time!! DON'T FORGET I AM JUST MINUTES A WAY IF YOU GUYS NEED ME TO DO ANYTHING!!! I want to serve you guys in any way that is needed!! Love ya bunches, Mary
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