The Little Gremlin

There are two things roaming the floors of our house on all-fours: Schmax and Benjamin. Benjamin has quickly become mobile and very proficient at his quasi-crawl. He doesn't do the typical forward, left-right-left-right crawl; it is more of sideways hopping-a-fence type maneuver.

When he does it once, it looks completely wrong and he appears disabled. But then he gets going and moves like the wind, it borders on watching someone walk and break dance at the same time. His new found mobility has forced the "baby-proofing" of our house. I put it in quotes because no amount of store bought goods can turn your house into a completely safe environment, unless you coated it in Nerf®.

I put off "baby-proofing" for as long as I could for two reasons: 1.) I'm not the handiest of people, I'll eventually get things right on the third or ninth time. 2.) Dealing with safety latches/covers/gates is a nuisance. Yes - I want to keep Benjamin safe, but I also wish you could simply explain to a 1-year old why you shouldn't drink Windex® (although it does look like delicious blue-razberry juice).

His new favorite place is on the kitchen floor, because that's where we are. Emily and I trying to prepare or clean up after a meal now looks like a couple's ice skating routine - constantly moving, cognizant of our footing, and wearing matching unitards. At some point during our figure-8's I'll need to quickly grab a dishtowel from a drawer and CLACK - the safety latch catches. So I skin my finger for not remembering the latch was there - it's like penance.

We did opt to not baby-proof one of the lower drawers so he can explore. He used to sit there quietly and gawk at his treasure trove of goodies. Now he treats it like a challenge to empty it out as quickly as possible. He doesn't even look at what's in his hand, he just chucks it aside like a little Gremlin.

Remember them from the movie? They were always getting into something and in a nano-second they will have some how completely dismantled it. What used to be machinery is reduced to nuts and bolts. This is Benjamin now. He is attracted to phones, remote controls, DVD cases and books. It also amazes me how his random button pushes will unlock functions on our remotes or phones that we didn't even know existed. I kid you not, he had the remote for 12 seconds and he some how turned on Spanish subtitles - no me gusta.

I do have a new favorite thing to do with him now that he can scoot around - The Chase. What is it about a chase that excites us humans? It's scary, yet exhilarating. We don't want to get caught, but we want to get caught.

I'll get down on all fours and stick my head out down the hall. Benjamin sees this and, smiles and scrambles away. If I don't chase, he pokes his head out and scoots down where he saw me last, I then lunge out and send him into a gleeful panic. The plot isn't very deep, but he eats it up. I feel like that is the first signature thing that he and I have created. And since his birthday is Friday the 13th this year, I think I'm going to perform The Chase in a hockey mask. I hope he appreciates the movie reference.